Tuesday, October 12, 2010

muscle men

I need a heart to heart, so bare with me. This post is not a story about any particular man...but a group of them in general. Can I please express myself to the good looking, muscle pumping, power-aid addicted men in Utah? Where are your brains? Why do you walk around like panthers on the prowl, stalk until you almost have us...and then forget to... er...pounce?

I see a growing trend. Guys with too-white of teeth thinking they are God's gift to the population. Well guess what. God GAVE you those teeth. And the technology to bleach them until they shine like Jupiter's moons. I'm just saying, your teeth and somewhat ripped arms are NOT enough to hook me. I know you spend too much time at the gym checking yourself out, I see you doing it...but no matter how often you look in the reflection I promise you...I will never look back, snap fingers and say, "Shoot, how come I didn't notice that cute guy who always stares at HIMSELF?"

Gahhhh!! And please, please...expand your brain cells just a little bit. Even if you are reading Twilight (which I will not express personal feelings on THAT soapbox right now) you are reading. And I would love a guy who actually reads. That might be enough to hook me. That and a little bit of wit.

Wit. So much better than swagger.

Back to the pouncing issue. All the steroids in the world wont muster the courage up inside of you to actually properly ASK me out. You just have to do it...if you want to. Stop using crutch phrases such as "lets hang," and "play." Yes, we can hang and play. After you have nicely asked me out.

I know this is terrible of me. I may regret posting this. But lets face it...mostly girls read these posts anyway. To you men who don't spend all your free time staring at your beautiful reflections and lazering your teeth until they are almost cartoon white...I applaud you. There ARE good men out there. I have dated and known them. Cultured men. Sweet men. Sincere men.

I just had a moment at the gym tonight where I felt like I was at a club rather than a work out facility as a cluster of the before mentioned genre of men came up and made conversation. As they stared at themselves and compared bicep sizes.

I know there are great, amazing, intelligent men out there. So don't you worry....this soap box will probably be deleted in 48 hours.

much love.