Tuesday, January 5, 2010

let me introduce myself

I run my hands over my skirt, nervously awaiting His arrival. Another blind date. This one has to be better than the last, right? Right.
A knock at the door has my hopes raised. Not completely inflated, because lets face it, I've seen the worst of 'em. But I still have a soft, wavering, delicate bubble of hope in me somewhere.
I open the door.
Bubble pops.
A pleasant enough guy who is about a foot shorter than I am grins up at me. (I am only 5'4, give or take) So this guy is practically a midget. I smile and take a deep breath. I'm not shallow, I reason to myself. Maybe he has a winning personality.
"Hi," I speak first because he keeps staring with an open mouth. I wonder if I have lip gloss on my chin.
"I'm Jenn," I continue. "Nice to meet you."

Dragggggggged. Outtttt. Silence.

"uhm" he finally breathes out, "I'm *Sparticus"
"Great," I nod encouraging him to speak.
"Ready to go?" he asks.
I grab my purse and follow him out the door. His car is nice. Clean. See. He must have a nice personality I tell myself. Just don't think about standing up if he tries to kiss you.

Draggggged. Outttt. Silence.

"So," I finally say. He hasn't even turned on any music. Just the soft hum of his car lulls between us. "How was your day?"
"Great!" He smiles and faces me. So...he is missing a tooth. Stop being shallow I tell myself. Its all about inner beauty after all.
"What did you do?" I am getting slightly weary by the one word answer game.
"I took a shower. It was great. You know...showers are so great. I love showering."
"Cool." I say. I am feeling awkward.
"I mean, showering is where I really get to know myself," he continues, oblivious to how red this conversation is making me. "I like to do karate in my shower. It really loosens me up."
I cough. I must have heard him wrong. "Excuse me?" I thought he must be joking.
"Karate," he turns to me, suddenly serious. "It's in my heritage. I could never date a girl who doesn't take karate as seriously as me. Or showers."
Hmmm. I smile politely. This is gonna be a great night.