I shall call this guy Shades. Because he was cool from the moment I meant him. He had that swagger that makes girls weak at the knees, the just fit enough T-shirt that made me appreciate his casual sense for style, and a smile that turned my cheeks pink. Shades was definitely someone I was excited to go out with.
I didn't know Shades all that well, except for his magnanimous attractiveness. But I figured a guy with swagger like that couldn't be entirely a waste of a date.
He picked me up in a car that smelled like shampoo and was bouncing with tunes I loved. So far so good.
"How was your day?" He asked me.
"Great...I went shopping with my sister."
"HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAAHA" I wish I could describe the maniacal, horsy laugh he burst into. Suffice to say, it took me by surprise.
"What's so funny?" I asked, when he was done gasping for breath between laughs.
"That's funny...you're funny!" he said, like he couldn't imagine a girl who was blond with style could be funny. But what was worse...was that I hadn't said anything funny. He had yet to taste of my sharp wit and humor and he was bursting at the seams.
Awkward.
I brushed it aside though.
"So what did you do today?" I asked him, my knees still mushy when he slid his grin my direction.
"Slept."
"All day?"
"All," he said. "It was awesome."
"Yeah, I love sleep," I added. And I do love sleep. Its just..sleep doesn't make for great conversation. And so far Shades was proving to be a floater. All toppings and no filler if ya know what I mean.
"So what do you do when you're not sleeping?" I asked, "When you're at school?" I'd seen him at school, he had to have half a brain...right?
"I play guitar hero alot."
"Awesome, that's fun--"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAA." Again, he gasps, wipes his face. "That is FUNNY, you are FUNNY!"
Erm...was he joking? I swear I was on camera or something...
But no.
We made it to dinner. I picked my way through our conversation the way a rabbit picks through a radish. I wasn't too impressed by his blank stare and constant use of words like "LOLZ, right?" and "Totally," and my favorite..." HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA...that's funny. You're FUNNY."
Grrr. I know I'm funny. But you didn't really get a chance to see that did you? Shades, it turns out, was no swagger, no style, and...not alot of fun. But I think I'll text him whenever I need to be reminded that...I'm funny.
